Tag Archives: Trains

The Great Thai Adventure – Sleeper trains, an alternative form of discomfort

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I woke up at 9am feeling very tired and worn out, I’d caught a bit of heat stroke which explained my exhaustion yesterday, or was it the stress of the markets? (I do hate markets). I needed food fast, I decided to eat in the hotel and paid 130 baht for the buffet breakfast. JOOK! Congee was available! For those unaware of this Asian breakfast item, it’s like a savoury rice pudding, but without the milk and using a stock instead, very more-ish and very tasty. I pretty much devoured the entire buffet selection and felt A LOT better for it.

I had 7 hours to kill before my train to Chiang Mai, so I decided to drop my bags off at the reception and headed off towards the malls of Silom. I was convinced that today would be the day for shopping!

4 hours later…

NOPE! I still hadn’t bought a single thing!

3 hours to go and maybe I could still catch a visit to the Grand Palace, so I jumped on a Sky train to the pier in order to catch the Orange Express boat for 15 baht. I thought I’d save some money by buying an all day ticket for 150baht, that way I didn’t have to think about buying another ticket for the return journey and I could jump on and off at any pier. With my crisp 500 baht note in hand, I approached a little old lady selling tickets. I seems that you didn’t have a choice of what ticket you could buy and the ever growingly peeved senior citizen gave me a look of discontent and issued me with a 15 baht ticket and a hell of a lot of change! Tail between my legs, I sat on the stone benches and waited for the boat to arrive.

Fun Fact of the Day: Did you know that the Grand Palace closes its doors at 4pm?

I arrived Grand Palace pier at 4.05pm. I was a little too late too see Bangkok’s biggest tourist attraction, but with time to kill and made the best of a bad situation and decided to walk the perimeter wall like a Chinese intelligence spy, taking photos of the outer walls and looking for a weakness in to the sacred realm, here’s an example…

Secure
A very secure looking wall indeed!

30 sweaty minutes later, mission complete and I was back on the boat making my escape.

I got to Hua Lamphong train station at 6pm and I had an hour and a half wait until my train arrived. So I sat on the floor in the middle of the station along with all the other backpackers. A small Thai toddler was roaming the floor, needlessly interacting with every other baby and… me apparently. Children under the age of 7 seem to naturally gravitate towards and as uncomfortable as it can be I’m unable to ignore them. This particular child was apparently interested in my reading material, manga, it was a little embarrassing at the time so I put it away… But it was too late… I was on her list and should would… not… leave… me ALONE! Eventually she got the message and went back to interfering with the other kids of her ‘own age’.

7pm and I decided to head to the platform. They were changing the sign to say ‘Chiang Mai, 7.35’… Oh how that sign lied!

If it wasn’t for m…

NOSE BLEED ALERT!!!! (on writing this entry whilst on the train, my nose decided to play its part in my ‘single traveller amongst many groups’ journey) Evidence below…

Nose bleed alert!

Anyway, the train ended up being 2.5 hours late and it was at that point that I’d realised that sweatiness was the general norm around these parts and there was no point in trying to stay dry and fresh.

During my long long wait I managed to chat to a couple of randoms, but mostly just to clarify the situation. There was a creepy man who seemed to be a regular traveller to Chiang Mai, he was friendly, but very weird too, in that ‘you’re way to old to be still doing this kind of stuff’ kind of way.

Eventually the right train arrived and I managed to board it with no issue, only to find that I was surrounded by French, Chinese and German voices… where… were… the English in this country???!

Did I mention that this was a sleeper train? Yep, it was a 13/15 hour journey to northern Thailand and I was alone in a carriage with no one to talk to. But I did discover one good thing, the bed fitted! The bad thing?.. no sleep could ever be achieved on a rickety train, unless the soothing vibrations of a moderate earthquake is what you’d consider calming, then it was a delightful snooze.

I got very little sleep, but guess who ordered congee for breakfast??? Yummy stuff again.

As with most train bathroom facilities, number twos were a no-go, It was definitely number 1 territory only. To help strengthen the stereotype, the Chinese group had awoken early and were brushing their teeth. They seemed strangely obsessed with teeth brushing, I didn’t bother to ask them why.

9am and this was the point that I had my nose bleed, I had no idea where it came from (my nose obviously) but after 10 minutes it finally managed to subside. By this point I really need to get off the train and in to Chiang Mai and have a shower… Wet wiping my armpits just didn’t have that same refreshing effect as mint scented shower gel.

Sassiness causes congestion

Random,

The other day whilst I was stood waiting for the tube, I had an epiphany. Londoners see it everyday during rush hour, the odd person shouting ‘Can you move down the carriage please!’, the city worker who huffs and puffs before cramming himself on to an already full to the brim train, as if he were partaking in a world record attempt. The self-proclaimed MacGyver Tetris King who truly believes that they can fit in to the 2×2 inch space by slipping through the closing doors and trapping his bag at the same time. And the backpacker who refuses to move from their chosen spot, leaving an inaccessible void allowing no object to fill.

They all have something in common… Sassiness!

The attitude of, ‘I’m so important that the world isn’t gonna tell me what to do!’ The, ‘I don’t care what you think, I’m getting on this train, for I refuse to wait 2 minutes for the next one!’ And the, ‘You must make space for me, but I won’t move an inch as I need the space to read my paper’

And it’s because of these people that we are late. Trains fail to leave on time due to trapped bags and body parts. They run slower because Mr/Miss Sassy UK has been trapped against the doors and trips the failsafe, which cuts out the engine (‘Please move away from the doors’, is often announced by the driver in the morning).

And all because of one or two commuters have… Attitude.

Sassiness causes congestion, cut out the sass and we’ll all be so much happier.

The Great Thai Adventure – Airports, trains and a long walk.

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I really shouldn’t have worn jeans, t-shirt and a shirt… it was HOT! I’d left the inclement 8 degrees C of London and arrived to a lofty 32, sweaty legs have never been such a problem. Suvarnabhumi airport is a nice airport and very clean-looking, I’m still at the, ‘I refuse to talk to anyone’ stage, so rather than asking anyone where to go I just follow the crowd and eventually it gets me to immigration… It is here where I become a tourist… Did I need to fill in an immigration card? I was sure that I didn’t have to apply for a visa to come to Thailand… Or did I?? A mild panic set in as I began think that I was now illegally about to enter the country. What was I to do???

I immediately scoped out the area, 15 plus manned kiosks. Two, maybe three on the floor immigration security guards. Only 2 possible exits, the way I came in or through the immigration stands… I was backed in to the proverbial corner. I was going to have to do it. It had finally come down to this… “Excuse me? Do I have to fill in an immigration card?” I was talking to people now!

Turns out that I did need to fill one in and it was really a panic about nothing. I kicked myself for joining the slow queue and gave my best death stare to the slow coaches up front, but I was soon on my merry little way out of the airport and in to the train station!

I’m REALLY glad that I worked out my train route to the hotel. A 1 hour journey could have easily been 2! The train from the airport to Phaya Thai was easy enough, although I suspect that the majority of tourists would have been thrown by the casino chip style token for a ticket.

They had arrows for where you’re meant to stand!!!Stand at the sides of the doors if you’re getting on and the middle is for passengers to get off! So simple! Also, WAIT until the angry conductor tells you to get on otherwise you’ll get a piercing whistle in the ear!

There was a couple from Hong Kong (I suspected) speaking Cantonese, but my irrational fear of talking to strangers and being laughed at for my poor grasp of elementary level Cantonese held me back again on this occasion. Instead I plugged my earphones in and bopped my way to central Bangkok.

I arrived at Phaya Thai with little problem and having predetermined all my changes I quickly arrived in Chong Nansi. This was where the true panic began. Which station exit should I take? Which direction should I walk in?? I could read a map but it would be all pointless if I didn’t know which direction I was facing!! Where was north??!! I was screwed.

I decided to bite the bullet after what seemed to be 10 minutes of map reading and point of interest spotting and decided to walk in my chosen direction… Which turned out to be the opposite direction of my destination. 5 minutes later my directional spider-senses were tingling again. I found a bicycle stop, confirmed my location and began walking back the way I came, filled with shame. I was in snail mode, circling my destination in smaller and smaller concentric circles. After an unnecessary 15 minutes, I finally reached my hotel!.. a whole 2 minute walk away from the station.

After accidentally taking a nap, I convinced myself to leave my room for some food and maybe visit the hotel bar. I walked in to the hotel restaurant to find only 2 tables were filled, the quiet atmosphere played well to my Hermititis and I enjoyed a lovely satay pork and a weird sickly sweet noodle, pork and prawn dish. It was a satisfactory start to my culinary Thai experience.

After working out how to finally say ‘Thank you’ in Thai (Korp Kun Krap), I whispered my exit and headed for the bar. It was a strange bar, I wasn’t sure if it was a family run bar or the owners family was just down for the evening. Either way it gave rise to my first instance of ladyboy paranoia, a deep voice, but with a local for a boyfriend? The obvious answer must have been that he was gay, but I couldn’t tell!! This could have easily proved to be my downfall during this holiday, but I decided to ignore it and busied myself by watching the football on the bar t.v. screen. I was beginning to settle in and started to think that I was safe from the ‘professionals’ thanks to my ‘non-round eyed’ looks, but to be safe, at half time, I made my exit and back to my room.

So my first night in Thailand was done, I’d arrived safely and I was already eating the food and forced myself to speak to the locals. Tomorrow was to be my first tourist day, but for this particular evening, I needed the rest.