It was Sunday and my first chance at sightseeing and exploring, so I drew up a plan.. an itinerary if you will.

1. Damnoen Saduak floating market
2. Wat Phra Kaew & Grand Palace
3. Chatuchak market
4. Silom night market

So I woke up at 6am, ready to hit the beautiful floating market that encapsulated the serene tradition of classical Bangkok, I was ready to immerse myself in Thai culture… At 7.30am I woke up again, after snoozing for an extra hour and a half.

Having worked out the evening before, I needed to get to a bus terminal at Victoria Monument to catch a ride that would get me to the market which was situated… NOWHERE NEAR BANGKOK! But it was on my list of places to see so I dragged myself on to the BTS and arrive at the terminal at around 8.30am. When the guide said ‘terminal’, what it really meant was ‘Giant busy roundabout, with 50 million buses and no real way of finding out which bus goes where’… Wonderful. It was not what I expected when I arrived, bleary eyed and hungry. It was at this point (after only 5 minutes) that I decided that I wasn’t going to be visiting the DAMNoen Saduak floating market during this holiday. Instead I decided to find some breakfast and having yet to overcome my fear of speaking to strangers I settled for some slices of refreshing pineapple and sloped off back on to the BTS, with my tail between my legs and no clue on what to do next. Item 1. FAILED.

I obviously had some time to kill and on my to the bus terminal from hell, I noticed a nice looking park… Lumphini Park and a chance to take some holiday snaps! It was here where I first felt the heat of Thailand. At 10.30am warm was certainly an understatement, the lack of breeze made this park feel like a sauna and as I walked around it seemed that this particular venue wasn’t really a tourist’s park, or maybe it was just too early for tourists on a Sunday to come out and play. I walked past some old people, took a few photos of trees, walked past some more old people and then decided that it was too hot to do this much walking and sat down on a bench to drink some water and to look at my map and options for the day.

As markets tend to open in the mornings mostly, I decided to swap my visit to the Grand Palace with Chatuchak Market, one of the world’s… largest… markets… Spanning 27 acres, I knew that if there was a place that I could buy a pair of cheap sandals and some trousers, it would definitely be this place!

It lasted one and a half hours. I had to leave. I really don’t like markets and having weaved through each aisle like I was mowing a 27 acre lawn, I felt like death was my only escape. Having found no pairs of trousers and ‘losing’ at my first attempt at haggling for sandals, I left empty handed and a growing hatred of market places, although I did have my first taste of mango sticky rice (it was a thumbs up). Item 3. PARTIAL FAIL.

It was only 1pm when I got back to the hotel, but it had felt like I had been out for an entire day. Having settled on ‘renting’ a pair of trousers for the Grand Palace (it is a requirement that legs and arms are covered when visiting), the plan was to have a quick shower, get into my jeans just in case they were allowed and then head off to one of the most visited tourist destinations in the city…

… 3hrs later…

I’d fallen asleep, exhausted from the heat and mental collapse of the markets! I only closed my eyes for a second! And the air conditioning was so so cooooool… OK it was my fault. It was time for a new plan. Item 2. FAILED.

I left the hotel at 5.3opm, late enough so that the stalls of Silom night market had been set up, but early enough to get that ‘lucky first customer’ bargain of the day. Oh how wrong I was. Only half of the stalls were up and NONE were trying to entice me in for their first sell. It was starting to feel like the Lady’s market in Hong Kong, only smaller and I was being ignored a lot more than the general caucasian patrons. Could it be that the combination of my obvious local looks and poor fashion sense has inexplicably caused me to blend in as a local?? Oh cruel fate!

After doing a lap of the stalls, I decided to grab some noodles to eat whilst I had the chance. It’s a strange sensation eating out alone. You don’t quite know whether you should stay quiet and silently people watch, or be loud and try to make it known to the others around you that you’re ALSO on holiday and you’re not just a creepy guy on the ‘prowl’ for night. I opted for the former.

Anyway, after eating I thought I’d do another round of the market and thankfully I found that a lot more stalls had been set up. Alas my desired Thai trousers and wearable sandals (I’m not sure anyone would buy non-wearable sandals though) were not on show. I did however, experience my first, ‘Come in and see they ‘show’ pitch’. I knew what to do and waved the man/woman on, I’m not a total fool you know!! Item 4. PARTIAL SUCCESS (I’m giving myself that one!).