I really shouldn’t have worn jeans, t-shirt and a shirt… it was HOT! I’d left the inclement 8 degrees C of London and arrived to a lofty 32, sweaty legs have never been such a problem. Suvarnabhumi airport is a nice airport and very clean-looking, I’m still at the, ‘I refuse to talk to anyone’ stage, so rather than asking anyone where to go I just follow the crowd and eventually it gets me to immigration… It is here where I become a tourist… Did I need to fill in an immigration card? I was sure that I didn’t have to apply for a visa to come to Thailand… Or did I?? A mild panic set in as I began think that I was now illegally about to enter the country. What was I to do???

I immediately scoped out the area, 15 plus manned kiosks. Two, maybe three on the floor immigration security guards. Only 2 possible exits, the way I came in or through the immigration stands… I was backed in to the proverbial corner. I was going to have to do it. It had finally come down to this… “Excuse me? Do I have to fill in an immigration card?” I was talking to people now!

Turns out that I did need to fill one in and it was really a panic about nothing. I kicked myself for joining the slow queue and gave my best death stare to the slow coaches up front, but I was soon on my merry little way out of the airport and in to the train station!

I’m REALLY glad that I worked out my train route to the hotel. A 1 hour journey could have easily been 2! The train from the airport to Phaya Thai was easy enough, although I suspect that the majority of tourists would have been thrown by the casino chip style token for a ticket.

They had arrows for where you’re meant to stand!!!Stand at the sides of the doors if you’re getting on and the middle is for passengers to get off! So simple! Also, WAIT until the angry conductor tells you to get on otherwise you’ll get a piercing whistle in the ear!

There was a couple from Hong Kong (I suspected) speaking Cantonese, but my irrational fear of talking to strangers and being laughed at for my poor grasp of elementary level Cantonese held me back again on this occasion. Instead I plugged my earphones in and bopped my way to central Bangkok.

I arrived at Phaya Thai with little problem and having predetermined all my changes I quickly arrived in Chong Nansi. This was where the true panic began. Which station exit should I take? Which direction should I walk in?? I could read a map but it would be all pointless if I didn’t know which direction I was facing!! Where was north??!! I was screwed.

I decided to bite the bullet after what seemed to be 10 minutes of map reading and point of interest spotting and decided to walk in my chosen direction… Which turned out to be the opposite direction of my destination. 5 minutes later my directional spider-senses were tingling again. I found a bicycle stop, confirmed my location and began walking back the way I came, filled with shame. I was in snail mode, circling my destination in smaller and smaller concentric circles. After an unnecessary 15 minutes, I finally reached my hotel!.. a whole 2 minute walk away from the station.

After accidentally taking a nap, I convinced myself to leave my room for some food and maybe visit the hotel bar. I walked in to the hotel restaurant to find only 2 tables were filled, the quiet atmosphere played well to my Hermititis and I enjoyed a lovely satay pork and a weird sickly sweet noodle, pork and prawn dish. It was a satisfactory start to my culinary Thai experience.

After working out how to finally say ‘Thank you’ in Thai (Korp Kun Krap), I whispered my exit and headed for the bar. It was a strange bar, I wasn’t sure if it was a family run bar or the owners family was just down for the evening. Either way it gave rise to my first instance of ladyboy paranoia, a deep voice, but with a local for a boyfriend? The obvious answer must have been that he was gay, but I couldn’t tell!! This could have easily proved to be my downfall during this holiday, but I decided to ignore it and busied myself by watching the football on the bar t.v. screen. I was beginning to settle in and started to think that I was safe from the ‘professionals’ thanks to my ‘non-round eyed’ looks, but to be safe, at half time, I made my exit and back to my room.

So my first night in Thailand was done, I’d arrived safely and I was already eating the food and forced myself to speak to the locals. Tomorrow was to be my first tourist day, but for this particular evening, I needed the rest.